Laugh Love Vinyl
Kim Morgan: Top Ten Movies of 2009 By order. The ten list. And not in order. (Well, except for the first three.) After that, it's a free country for all and stop counting and ......
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live.laugh.love it. S2 ep 12
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Very soon will be the National Smile Week, and what better way to get those smiles that cracks with some humorous and funny quotes? Prepare for inspection hurt the whole week through. Here are twenty-five funny quotes to start.
1. "If it's sent by ship then it's a burden, if sent by road, then it is a transfer. "~ Dave Allen
2. "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." ~ Albert Einstein
3. "Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere." ~ Mae West
4. "I like long walks, especially when taken by people who annoy me. "~ Fred Allen
5. "The four key components of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl." ~ Dave Barry
6. "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than yourself." ~ Josh Billings
7. "Things are not what they used to be, and probably never was. "~ Will Rogers
8. "Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy". ~ Gary Busey
9. "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I ever met. "~ Walt Disney
10. "Hippies, hippies ... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee! "~ Eric Cartman
11. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." ~ Flip Wilson
12. "If you want to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some." ~ Benjamin Franklin
13. "I'm Jewish. I do not work. If God had wanted to bend over, should put diamonds on the floor. "~ Joan Rivers
14. "A computer once beat me at chess, but was no match for me at kick boxing. "~ Emo Philips
15. "She is not singing in the shower, or you're a rock star or a diva opera. "~ Josh Groban
16. "I think the worst time to have a heart attack during a game of charades ... or a game of heart attack false. "~ Demetri Martin
17. "Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts." ~ Ruth Gordon
18. "It amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, however, are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner. "~ Ben Bergor
19. "Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ~ Salvador Dalí
20. "Better to be beautiful than to be good but it's better to be good than to be ugly. "~ Oscar Wilde
21. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself." ~ Ethel Barrymore
22. "I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important. "~ Jim Morrison
23. "I am ready to meet my Maker. If my Maker is prepared for the test of meeting me is another matter." ~ Winston Churchill
24. "Eagles may fly in the clouds, but weasels never absorbed by the jet engines." ~ Jason Hutchison
25. "Just because nobody complains does not mean all parachutes are perfect." ~ Benny Hill
Are you smiling yet? Great! Now is ready for National Smile Week. Know someone else who needs to exercise their facial muscles before the big week actually hits? Why not take these twenty-five funny quotes and share them? About the Author:
For more funny quotes, check out the popular funny quotes section of Famous-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a website that specializes in 'Top 10' lists of quotations in dozens of categories.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - 25 Funny Quotes to Celebrate Smile Week
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